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Chapter 1“Are you completely blind!?” yelled Erik behind the counter. “Don’t you see the guests that have practically sat down? They might want to eat. We are a restaurant and you are being paid to at least pretend to be a waiter. God forbid you actually serve the guests,” he snarled angrily. This woke me up from my daydream. I looked at him with a surprised look that I assume, somehow made him think that I questioned the tone in his voice. That seemed to anger him even more. This realization brought me to act and I went towards the guests that ware waiting at the door. After I was done with showing them to their table, I descended back into my thoughts where I was separated from the surrounding reality. My “tuning out” so to speak was becoming increasingly common for me this past week, and sadly something I thought would be even more so in weeks to come. I knew that it would probably lead to problems at work, and that worried me. However, I knew no way to stop so I had to gather my self and soldier on through this day and many more days to come. It was not easy, in part because I got a new speech in that angry voice a half-hour later, an I knew that they would continue on coming. Also, this time it was due to what Erik somehow perceived as nonchalance on my part, towards him when he called for me. I was not responsive enough, I suppose. “Don’t you for a second think that just because you make the work schedule for the waiting staff, that you are some kind of boss.Because you aren’t and that kind of attitude is hurting the perception people have of this place. I’m busting my balls to make this a memorable dining experience for our guests, while your lackluster serving performance is sabotaging my efforts,” he said. He was an asshole all the time but I hated him the most when he thought he was being smart. Using words like “lackluster” and “performance” when disingenuously describing my work effort.The guy hasn’t read two books in his life.“There is never a smile on your lips when you are welcoming the guests,” he continued. This was a lie. “Unless they are young girls, then you are all smiles and flirts,” he said. Yet another lie. I could smell the alcohol on his breath for the hundredth time this year. He was bigger than me and looked threatening, always on the edge. In part due to alcohol, his temper made me and the rest of the workforce uneasy. He is a mean drunk. We saw him as a bully. Not all of us, but almost. There was one big exception; our boss, my wife. She saw him as a wounded animal who deserved another chance. I took comfort in the fact that she loved me, she understood that he lied about me, and that rest of the workforce shared my thoughts on him. Even though he managed to bed many female colleagues through the years, that later on claimed it was a mistake, and that everyone makes mistakes, and that they were embarrassed for it. Whatever they claimed, they gave it up for the men that could most accurately be described as Biff Tannen’s evil twin. “Don’t Kurtköy Escort play dumb with me. I don’t want you undermining my authority in front of the guests and employees,” Eric said.He was in the middle of one of his speeches that I successfully managed to zone out. I could take this abuse despite being mentally rather low these days. Reason for that being that this might be his last week on the job.My name is John Andersson and I am a married man. My wife’s name is Diana. We have two kids, Michael and Olivia. I’m tired right now. Multiple nights of almost non-existent sleep have worn me down.What is the cause of my lack of sleep you may think?Well, there is unrest in the middle east, Arsenal not winning a significant title for over ten years, Donald Trumps presidency, and as always: the Freemason’s stranglehold on the adult comic-book industry, which is killing the creativity as we all know. A little humor for the readers of my misery, even if the Arsenal fans reading this might not be amused. No. My lack of sleep is caused by something else.My beautiful wife, the love of my life, has expressed the interest in expanding our relationship to include other people. It is the idea that she has put forward more than a year ago, but now it is not something she is putting out there to gauge my reaction. Instead, she has a plan of action ready that she wants me to understand and accept. We have been married for four years. Our kids are six and three. We seem like a perfect family on the outside, but she wants to date other men. And this is the reason that I can’t focus on my job nowadays. Where is my life going? That is the question that is constantly posing itself in my head, transformed in different ways yet with always the same existential implication. She wants to stay married because she loves me, but she wants to have sex with others, and she wants me to accept that. If I can’t do that, then it is for the best that we go our separate ways, she says.It all started, I think, with one of our guests flirting with her about two years ago. He was mocked by everyone at the restaurant for it, guests and employees alike. She agreed to go out on a date with him as a joke. I thought it to be a joke myself and didn’t worry about it at first. But I become increasingly worried as it took me forever to get her to tell me what had happened on their date. And to my astonishment, she had sex with him. I was starting to get suspicious after a couple of days. The guest in question’s demeanor changed. He was not the meek clown anymore that always came with some tacky presents to my wife while sucking up to me at the same time. He was not some safe guy that I felt for, because he really liked my wife knowing that he could never have her.Before their date, I thought of him as a man that seemed to look up to me and respect me. That dynamic changed after their date and now my wife seemed to be a little shy around him, unwilling to talk about Kurtköy Escort Bayan their date. This was a tell sign that something had happened, and eventually it was confirmed by her. It was tremendously hard to take in for me.This incident rocked our relationship hard, and it almost killed it. We have been going to counseling for a long time after that. There, I was assured that her transgression had nothing to do with me. She had a need for validation by other men. This need got to a boiling point two years ago. She said that she struggled with her weight, even though she still looked amazing to me. When the counseling stopped she started going to a therapist by herself.All of this culminated in what she calls a two-part realization. First part is that she is not, sexually at least, a one-man woman, and the second part is that she yearns to be accepted for what she is. We have spoken about this extensively and as the time went on she wanted to know where I stood on the issue.Will I stay or will I go?The question I pose myself a tad pertinaciously is: Should I stay or should I go? Is it the same question as fight or flight? I ask myself and chose to fight. I remember the heartache her indiscretion caused me. All the soul-searching it made me do. Could I have done something to prevent this? Who is she really? And so on.She is a thirty-year-old woman with a great figure, despite having given birth to two kids. She has great boobs, firm double E’s, auburn hair, and a face that made people think of Hayley Atwell. She is one meter and sixty centimetres tall. All of this is accentuated by a soft cheerful female voice that makes people think of a Disney character. We work together at the same workplace, my wife and I, and she is my boss. I never had any problem with that before the transgression. But things have changed in a number of ways since her date with Mark. Mark was the name of the guest that bedded her. That event has made me insecure, and that insecurity is manifesting itself in various ways ever since. Most notably in my reactions to Erik’s behavior towards me.I also have some special position in the restaurant. I’m responsible for the waiting staff, training them and making their schedules. That position comes with certain authority and responsibility. I’m good at my job and liked by all colleagues except Eric, whose feelings towards me are based upon two things I assume.One is: Him being an ass hole in general; and two, him wanting to fuck my wife.Diana is good at her job. She can be stern or understanding and compassionate. All depending on what the situation called for. She likes her job and takes it seriously without being a bore herself. Both guests and employees like her. Some more then others and Eric was, apart from me, her greatest fan. They had a special bond and understanding, one could say.That was one of the thoughts I had in my head while getting yelled at by him today. Surely she would at least spare Escort Kurtköy me the indignation of having an affair at our shared workplace? I thought to myself. But what was I supposed to believe, past experience considered? Therefore, as I mentioned earlier, him being on his way out of the restaurant was important to me. I was trying not to get my hopes up too much, but I was failing at it. I’m hoping for him to get fired; because of the fact that Diana cheated once before while claiming that nothing would happen and that I was silly for even thinking such a thing. Because of that, I’m hoping that this antagonizing, womanizing, alcoholic gets the shaft before being able to put some serious moves on Diana. As I see it now, I can’t really trust her anymore. Her position as I understand it, is that she loves me. She feels that I’m a great father, a great friend, and a gentle lover. I hated the last compliment. I tried to rough it up in a sack a little since I heard her describe me as a gentle lover, hoping that it will somehow decrease her desire to sleep with other people. If I could show her that I can be bad, she might abstain from polygamy, was my idea. It didn’t work. She just gave me a kind smile and embrace while whispering that I didn’t need to try so hard.“Let’s make love instead,” she said.But as time went on I struggled to get her to have sex with me. It angered me. She was less in the mood for it every day that passed it seemed. “This is not unusual for couples after a couple of years,” said the therapist. But our situation was a tad different. I know that she wants sex, just not with me. We sporadically talked about it. I always tried to get some information out of her on what she wanted in a lover in order to adjust myself. She figured it out and grew impatient with me on the subject. At last she told me that she wanted variation, that she is the kind of woman that didn’t belong to anyone and yet she belonged to everyone.It annoyed me tremendously to hear her say this because it was such an obvious Lana Del Ray rip-off. Furthermore, it meant I needed to accept her for the slut she is. I was a man whose wife belongs to everyone was the message I received. It led to me not pushing the subject anymore. Instead, I bottled up my frustration and tried to suffer, with dignity. It was hard and I found myself constantly thinking who will be my new rival. Will he be a muscle bimbo or another version of me with a somewhat larger penis. The penis thing loomed large in my head. I almost blamed myself for her infidelity due to my shortcoming in the D department. Maybe it was the sole root of all of this, I thought at times. But I eventually understood that it perhaps was not. She wanted to feel desired from different men; that was all. And I was starting to come around to the thought of this and also looking for ways to live with it. I didn’t want us to separate yet. I was a good father and she was a good mother. I didn’t want someone else to be a father figure to my kids, either. Also, it might work if she did it with some sort of dignity. Maybe I could do the same, find someone as well. Maybe then the jealousy would lessen or disappear completely. But basically, I didn’t want a life without her.Was this true love or me being weak? I couldn’t tell. 

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