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Wasteland in Amsterdam – Welcome to the world of BYou know the feeling.You’ve been looking forward to a big night for ages and ages, and the best fetish party in Europe looks and sounds as though it’s going to live up to all your dreams and expectations.You know where this is going don’t you?Actually Wasteland is great. But in many ways, getting there was actually more fun than being there.For a start, we got a great deal on a fantastic hotel – the Pulitzer on the Prinsengracht, right in the centre of the city.And we had a night in town before hand, so although it was tipping down, we had a few beers and dinner on Spuistraat, and a nostalgic wander through the red light district, which is always fun, though now you can buy everything they sell there online, in all the colours and all the sizes for a fraction of the price, it’s rather lost its seedy but exciting appeal.I hope that it’s not just my age, but I do think that Amsterdam was much more exciting before online porn became so immediately accessible, and fewer people were going over for stag weekends; once upon a time, my c***dren, there were only a few hardcore perverts wandering the red light with their tongues hanging out but there was undoubtedly the excitement of being somewhere you could see and do all kinds of things you simply couldn’t do at home. Sighs…But when the day itself dawned, we had shopping to do. Latex Slut is a typical girl in some ways and although she has a wide and varied wardrobe, “She Simply Had Nothing To Wear!” so we had to try to find an outfit for her – and we had to do that bearing in mind that “She Hates Shopping!”, so we had to be selective.We did a bit of research and found three potential outlets: Scotch and Pepper, DeMask and Absolute Danny’s, and decided we’d check them all out before lunch. So Scotch and Pepper were first. Their address was somewhat further out of town than we were, but armed with iPhones and GoogleMaps, we set off on foot through the Jordaan. And walked and walked until we eventually arrived at a completely anonymous building in a residential street, but sure enough, the name was on the bell and it was answered by one of the two female owners, who came downstairs to explain that she was really sorry, but they were couture only and they were going to have to spend all day dressing people kuşadası escort who’d flown in from Russia and the USA for the party and there wasn’t much they could do at short notice. But she (Kris) was really sweet and promised we’d see her that evening wearing an inflatable latex dress, so we headed off downtown to DeMask which has always been the first stop for the best kinky latex gear around.A swift tram ride later, we walked through their hallowed portals, to be met by a rather sulky assistant with long dark hair who took one look at Madame and with an indrawn breath said she didn’t think she’d have anything in THAT SIZE… I don’t know who’s doing their sales training, but it clearly wasn’t anyone who’d read, “How to make friends and influence people”Sure enough the one thing they had was a red latex corset for slightly under $500, and we departed swiftly, thinking of that scene in Pretty Woman when Julia Roberts returns with the credit card and says, “You made a mistake. Huge!”Absolute Danny’s was just round the corner and a lot friendlier. even if there wasn’t much for sale for anyone over a size 10, which was something of a surprise. Slut isn’t a teenager but she’d not a BBW either. Maybe in Amsterdam the larger sizes go before the small ones: it’s usually the other way back home.Anyway, as I was waiting for her to wriggle out of another outfit, a couple came into the shop and started talking to the cat and I quickly recognised their accents. “where are you from?” I asked, and I was delighted to discover they came from my own fair city and wouldn’t you know, they were in town for Wasteland too. S & L had been before so they kindly brought us up to date on how to get there. A bus left every half an hour from just opposite the station, the door bitches would throw you out if you weren’t properly dressed and there would be 10,000 people there from 10 till 6.30 the following morning. They were really lovely, in every sense and we said goodbye thinking that among 10,000 people, this would be the last time we’d ever see them, and that was a shame.So after three attempts, we were empty handed (apart from a new pair of latex stockings for Slut from Absolute Danny), but of course, her existing wardrobe was much more exciting than she had pretended and we had a fabulous evening escort kuşadası getting dressed, her in a basque and very very high heels, and me in a latex kilt (Hello, I’m from Scotland!)We began getting ready at 8.00, drinking champagne and listening to our favourite songs on Spotify and all of a sudden it was 10.30 and we were late. So we stalked through the very respectable reception area, turning some heads and getting a few sharply indrawn breaths, grabbed a cab and went downtown, looking for a queue of equally overdressed festishistas.We didn’t exactly find that, but there were about 40 people in the right place and sure enough they were going our way too, but they were getting changed at the venue. Not everyone had a shaved head, and the ratio of men to women was about 2:1 but as it’s a gay/bi/hetero night, that’s probably a pretty good ratio.After half an hour on the bus, we made it to Zaandam where the club had taken over the North Sea Venue, and it was obvious from all the traffic, this was going to be a big night. Once we got past the outer ring of bouncers, there were two of the most stunning transexuals I’ve ever seen, with the kind of tits that only money can buy and make up and hair to match. Everyone else was still dressed but they were wearing diaphanous blouses over latex shorts and fishnets, and they’d cultivated that ability to ignore the stares of the multitude that distinguishes the truly gorgeous – and self-obsessed.”Welcome to the World of BDSM”, chuckled Slut, who’s been to more high class fetish events than I have. Once we were in, it was overwhelming: huge, noisy, and absolutely packed already, with lots of naked people in all the sizes and all the colours. There were some real beauties and of course there were some SuperFreaks as well. One of the first people I noticed was a small fat man with glasses and a beer belly, who was completely naked apart from a cock ring and what looked like a vicious ball stretcher on his tiny testicles. He seemed to be on his own, but he wasn’t the only one. There were hundreds and hundreds of single men, not all of them gay and not all of them naked, but if there was one outfit that defined the night, it was the chest harness. I thought that if I had only brought enough leashes, we could have whipped them in, coupled kuşadası escort bayan them up and run chariot races six at a time round the circuit that ran through about three huge rooms on the ground floor, and we could have stood on the platforms above, betting on the outcome.Your money is no good to you at Wasteland as I discovered when I tried to buy some drinks at the bar where they dispensed Heineken through hoses to meet the demand. Once I had swapped 40 Euros for tokens at E2.50 a time, I fought my way through the crush to find myself standing behind another guy in a kilt. Yes, in all that throng, the first people we met were S & L, and they were every bit as friendly as they had been earlier in the day, so we spent the next hour or so following them around as they showed us all the different rooms and tried to talk over the banging techno soundtrack.I’m a fan of Einstürzende Neubauten myself, but the sound of metal pipes being banged together can get a bit wearing after a while and although the DJ obviously thought that keeping everything at 128 bpm was the height of cool, I found it a bit monotonous after three hours. And despite the scale of the event, there were surprisingly few stage shows. The smoking room was entirely without any extractor fans, so that was absolute hell and our initial excitement began to flag about 2 in the morning.Our designer friend Kris with the inflatable dress was nowhere to be seen, but there were some amazing sights.What were my favourites? Well we liked the many ladies who’d done a Wendy O, and taped an X of duct tape over their nipples. We liked the girl in the body stocking with the nipple clamps, the one with the full face mask and a slave on a chain, and there were lots of hunky body builders, as well as slim elegant boys in corsets and glamorous girls in all sorts of latex and lingerie.But the image that sticks in my mind was this. She was in the smoking room, sitting alone on a stool, wearing a corset, stockings and high heels, with pigtails, smoking a pipe. A proper curly one, as smoked by goatherds in the Sound of Music. And she was 65 if she was a day. And she was a man. And nobody was talking to her, or paying her any attention at all.It kind of summed the whole evening up. You can be whatever you want to be at Wasteland. But don’t expect anyone else to be remotely interested.They’re far too fascinated by themselves.Our thanks to S&L though for being great hosts and guides, and more importantly, being friendly and normal, as well as kinky.It’s not too much to ask, is it, but god it’s hard to find!

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